Science Saturdays: morning wood

Next time you fall asleep in class, wake up at the end of lecture, but can’t stand up because your penis is erect, blame your brain for stopping norepinephrine. But at the same time, vasodilation isn’t so bad. It’s just repairing and maintaining functionality of our most important organ. Or maybe it’s just because you don’t want to piss your pants. Either way, just stay seated, take a couple deep breaths, and wait it out. Don’t want to stand up and embarrass yourself in front the class. Just stay seated and look like a keener–or a loner. Either way, it’s better than wearing a boner in front of 30-100 people.

Science, y’all!

Science Saturdays: Dogs make your fetus strong like bull

Okay, maybe not “strong like bull”, but kind of strong. I’ve always loved dogs. They’re the best, best, best. But above being adorable and a great companion, they also help to keep your place just dirty enough. We’re living in a world that’s too clean, with parents who are too protective. As a result, the instances of less-dangerous–but longer lasting–immune dysfunctions have increased. Having a dog at home causes just the right amount of bacteria to strengthen the immune system to combat lower-level immune sickness.

That’s science, dog.

Science Saturdays: RUNNING

Runners come in all shapes and sizes. I always wondered why medium- to long-distance runners were always so skinny. It seems so obvious now that they wouldn’t want to carry around the excess weight.

The more you know, y’all!

Have a great weekend! The weather’s fine; go for a run! Your endorphins will thank you. If you’re going to get high tonight, get runner’s high.

Bill Nye here to explain asteroids

So we all remember watching that incredible movie, Armageddon, right? I remember I shed a tear when Bruce sacrificed himself for Ben (it’s not a spoiler because it wasn’t that good of a movie, especially when you watch it as an adult). But anyway, I thought that was the only way to stop an asteroid. As impending doom in the form of an asteroid the size of Texas threatens to destroy humanity as we know it, Billy Bob Thornton will be entrusted with the task of saving the world–makes complete sense up until this point. But who does he choose to save the planet? Maybe the best engineers in the world, combined with physicists well aware of the characteristics of outer space?

WRONG, idiot! They got a group of oil miners, because obviously they are the best equipped  handle the rigours of doing their job in outer space. I mean, surviving in outer space and being responsible for all of Earth can be taught and trained; drilling, on the other hand, cannot. Billy Bob, a sucker for the dramatics, doesn’t choose just any group of oil miners. He picks an eclectic group of redneck, including a crazy cowboy Owen Wilson, a gentle giant Michael Clarke Duncan, and a suicidal Steve Buscemi. Yupp, that’s who I’d entrust with the world too.

Well, sorry Michael Bay, here is well-known and beloved actual scientist Bill Nye debunking your painfully logical idea. Instead of having a bunch of loveable misfits actually land on an incoming asteroid to drill a bomb into the centre so it’ll conveniently split into two pieces that bypass Earth, we can just use lasers. Friggen lasers, man.

Well, I hope they televise the laser show internationally, because I don’t want to miss a thing.

Science Saturdays: Your hearing probably sucks. Find out!

So I blame headphones for all this. I hear a beeping, but not a consistent frequency after the age of 40. So I’m a strapping young man, with the ears of a 40 year old. At 40, I expect to be a strapping old man, with ears of a 41 year old. That’s it! I’m just gonna stop listening to things (people, especially) and save what little ear hairs I have left.

Ugh, I don’t even put Q-Tips in my ear and this still happened! Well, there goes the dub-step, heavy metal, and trap music from my Iphone.

Sorry if this news of your old ears ruined your weekend. But screw it, YOLO!

Science Saturdays: Chewing gum makes jerky teens more of a jerk

gum girl

 

Aren’t teenagers such jerks? Just picture one in your head: music blaring, underwear showing, eyes rolling, and gum chewing. Gnawing like cows, teens go through gum like it’s their job. They can tell you the difference between Stride and Five, and can offer you advice on how to be the most obnoxious while chewing it.

What happens if you don’t understand their lingo, or explanation of their love of gum? They walk away rubbing their temples, soothing the headache you caused. Gosh, teens are always complaining! Can’t you just picture your teenage-self storming into your room, slamming your door, and screaming “YOU’RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!”? Yeah, you were a jerk too, believe it or not.

Well, new studies have shown that the reason for their chronic headaches may be their favourite lip-smacking flavour stick. In a study done by Tel Aviv University’s Dr Nathan Watemberg, it was found that by simply quitting bubble gum there is a significant decrease in the suffering of migraine headaches, among adolescents.

Dr. Watemberg asked 30 patients between six and 19 years old who had chronic migraine or tension headaches and chewed gum daily to quit chewing gum for one month […] After a month without gum, 19 of the 30 patients reported that their headaches went away entirely and seven reported a decrease in the frequency and intensity of headaches. To test the results, 26 of them agreed to resume gum chewing for two weeks. All of them reported a return of their symptoms within days.

You see that? ALL OF THEM reported relapse effects of headaches. As Dylan would say, “it’s crazy, man!”

Now, why does this happen? Dr Watemberg explains that the temporomandibular joint (TMJ) is already the most stressed joint in the body (because it is used when you eat, duh). This is the joint that connects the jaw to the skull, and when chewing after the flavour’s gone, the constant burden put on the joint leads to migraines.

So just stop chewing gum if you’re susceptible to headaches! If you need a new habit, switch to smoking–nothing wrong with that. (JUST KIDDING, DO NOT SMOKE! I DO NOT CONDONE IT!)

Have a great weekend y’all!

Post Script: Here’s the article, if you want to read it.