Science Saturdays: morning wood

Next time you fall asleep in class, wake up at the end of lecture, but can’t stand up because your penis is erect, blame your brain for stopping norepinephrine. But at the same time, vasodilation isn’t so bad. It’s just repairing and maintaining functionality of our most important organ. Or maybe it’s just because you don’t want to piss your pants. Either way, just stay seated, take a couple deep breaths, and wait it out. Don’t want to stand up and embarrass yourself in front the class. Just stay seated and look like a keener–or a loner. Either way, it’s better than wearing a boner in front of 30-100 people.

Science, y’all!

Conan’s comedy stand up: Chris Fairbanks

Conan has started using his own show as a jumping off point for many new comedians trying to get some recognition. Just like many comedians would get famous from Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show. Somewhere over the years, it stopped being so, and gigs on late night shows were given to many alternative rock bands trying to get famous by sounding like everyone else.

Maybe it’s because Conan couldn’t get the music acts worth while, or maybe it’s because he’s a fan of comedy. Either way, this is Chris Fairbanks using dry humour to wet our pants. Very good stuff. Look out for him to tip you over while you’re suffering from shits and giggles in a portapotty.

Arnold Schwarzenegger promotes after-school health with funny video

So what does a former movie star, governor, and body builder do with his free time? Well, create a viral video to promote his charitable pursuits, of course! Arnold decided to wear a horrible disguise to the famed Gold’s Gym in Venice, California. With a moustache and wig, Arnold–known badass–turned into Howard Kleiner–also pretty badass. He did the video in a effort to promote both physical fitness and the After-School All-Stars program.

From the looks of it, the After-School All-Stars program is pretty admirable. As an aspiring teacher, I know the risks for students who live in rough neighbourhoods, especially those without anything to do after school. When these kids are at school, you’re able to provide the support and assistance they need. But once that bell rings, they’re out of your hands, and that’s when trouble lurks it head. What the After-School All-Stars program does is provide ” free programs that include academic support, enrichment opportunities, and health/fitness activities”. Gosh, how perfect. Love, love, love it.

So by donating to this wonderful program, what do you get? How about the simple satisfaction of helping youths in inner-city areas? Oh, is that not enough? Well how about an opportunity to ride a TANK with Arnold!? That’s right, by donating to the After-School All-Stars program, you enter a raffle to win a day with Arnold–a day filled with tanks, work outs, and cigars! I mean, what else could you possibly ask for!?

The genius behind (half of) The Chappelle Show

Grantland is great and so is Neal Brennan. My high school years were filled with references to the Chappelle Show. Whether it was getting a paycheque and yelling out “I’m rich, bitch!” or saying in a Dylan voice “It’s crazy“, the Chappelle Show was the reference of choice. My buddies and I would get together in basements and watch the complete second season on DVD (remember those?). It was the best of times. I remember being crushed when word hit that Dave left the show, fleeing to Africa. After seeing the “Pixie” sketch that made him leave, I could understand; you can’t go against your own integrity.

It wasn’t for a while that I realized who Neal Brennan was. Upon further research, I realized that Chappelle Show was half his baby; I can’t imagine how crushed he was when Dave left. In recent years, I started looking out for him more–and even saw in live in Toronto. He was incredible. The race jokes were off the charts. Despite what he says, he’s quite the genius.