Kung Fury: The greatest thing of the year.

How much do you miss crappy 80’s graphics? A lot? Great!

It’s new years eve and we have finally found this crappy year’s saving grace! “Kung Fury” is the vision of director David Sandberg. Hs intention for an over-the-top kung fu action comedy is coming to fruition. The story follows Kung Fury–a martial artist law enforcer who is reckless, and finds justice by any means necessary. Especially if those means include travelling back in time to defeat the most evil, diabolical man to ever use kung fu toward his sadistic agenda.

Of course there’s a plot twist: he hacks too much time and enters the era of vikings. There are also dinosaurs. This movie is incredibly bad. Green screens, FTW.

Here is the Kickstarter page for anyone feeling generous! It’s going to be a Kickstarter-ass movie (ugh, my pun game).

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Bench Profiles: The Dallas Mavericks’ Ricky Ledo

rickyledo

As some of us know, NBA teams have 15 players per roster. However,  only about 7-10 get to play any given night. That means 8-5 players are on the team for practice purposes only and to get that NBA money–can’t hate on that. Anyway, be prepared to get to know these guys pretty well, one 15th man at a time.

Say hello to the basketball nomad: RICKY LEDO!

Ricky is a bit of a baskteballer without a home. In high school, which usually takes 5 years for basketball prospects (I have no idea why), he played for four different schools, in three different states–all of this before graduating high school! What’s the point!? In his senior year, he led his team to “Prep National Finals” and was Second Team All-Conference. He was a bit of a scoring machine, from what I can gather.

He committed to play for Providence College, in his home-state of Rhode Island. But while he was there, he was deemed ineligible to play due to academic issues. He continued to go to school in hopes of playing in the second semester, but the NCAA wouldn’t bend the rules for him–I guess the NCAA only overlooks rules for players who will make them millions of dollars. Ugh, the NCAA…

In the ballsiest decision a freshman in college could make, Ricky declared for the 2013 NBA draft despite not playing for an entire year. His gamble played off as he was drafted 43rd overall by the Milwaukee Bucks. But of course his journey wasn’t that simple–you know, being the basketball nomad he is. His draft rights were traded to Philadelphia 76ers; then he was traded to the Dallas Mavericks; finally, during the season he was assigned the Mavs’ D-League team, the Texas Legends. So in less than a year, Ricky has been part of four professional basketball teams!

In his 6 games in the NBA, he has averages of 1.2 PPG, 0.3 RPG, and 0.2 APG. BUT, in his D-League stint, he’s averaging 14.5 PPG, 5.9 RPG, and 2.3 APG. Those aren’t bad for a 6’6″ wing player who hasn’t played basketball for an entire year.

What does social media tell us about Ricky?

Well, he seems to have trust issues (or friend issues).

But at least, a couple months later, he’s feeling a bit better!

Now after Christmas, Ricky seems to be back on the friends market! More like “Yes, New Friends“, am I right?

That’s pretty much Ricky all wrapped up into a single blog post! He’s a travelling baskteballer who played for four different high school teams, no university team, and was part of four professional basketball teams. He also had shady friends around the time he got paid, but seems to be in a better place.

Come back next week when I profile the 15th man for the Denver Nuggets! WOO, chicken nuggets!

Post Script: Here is Ricky’s high school mixtape, where he is compared to Kevin Durant. Hah, good luck!

Science Saturdays: Your hearing probably sucks. Find out!

So I blame headphones for all this. I hear a beeping, but not a consistent frequency after the age of 40. So I’m a strapping young man, with the ears of a 40 year old. At 40, I expect to be a strapping old man, with ears of a 41 year old. That’s it! I’m just gonna stop listening to things (people, especially) and save what little ear hairs I have left.

Ugh, I don’t even put Q-Tips in my ear and this still happened! Well, there goes the dub-step, heavy metal, and trap music from my Iphone.

Sorry if this news of your old ears ruined your weekend. But screw it, YOLO!

Wu Tang Clan’s ASL translator at Bonaroo

If you ever questioned whether the Wu Tang Clan was the best thing ever, question no more. Not only are they the greatest rap group of all time (sorry, G-Unit), but also they bring an American Sign Language translator to all their concerts! That’s right, they understand how incredible they are and they want everyone to experience it!

They went to Bonaroo this past year and did all of 36 Chambers, which is one of my favourite albums of all time. Holy, I wish I was there. This only makes me yearn for the experience even more. Next time they’re in town, don’t you dare miss out, despite your impairments. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had described hearing for the blind: “several black men pace back in forth energetically. Still pacing. Throwing their hands in the air, like they just don’t care.”

TGIF, y’all!

The Matrix happens in real life!

This is something I saw a while ago, but think is great to share. They’re an improv group that goes around doing scenes from well-known movies in everyday life. It’s super enjoyable to witness and the reactions are a blast to see.

If you’re not doing anything for the next 15-20 minutes, I encourage you to watch the rest of the episodes–especially the Rocky one.

Uhm, I need to put in something funny to make these words worthwhile. What kind of oil did the annoyingly loud person use? Extroversion olive oil! HAH, I’ll be here all year y’all!

Merry Christmas, y’all!

If I have any regular followers, I apologize for my lack of recent posts. I have been in the midst of a blackout and staying warm was a big priority.

Anyway, it’s Christmas and all is well. I’m wishing you a warm, safe, and happy Christmas.

You’re beautiful, don’t ever forget that.