HEY YOU! Yeah, I’m talking to you. What are you doing? You’re sitting on your couch and you’re surfing the web and being creepy. However, you’re only being a creep in one spot: at home. Haven’t you ever wanted to be creepy and weird all over the world, FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME? Haven’t you ever asked yourself, “isn’t there more out there for me?” or “isn’t there a way I can personalize my creepiness without having to take my hand out of this Cheetos bag?”

Hmm, so maybe you never wanted to be a creep. But maybe you’ve experienced something great and went, “nah, I don’t need this”. I mean isn’t physically being at a beautiful place to see, feel, smell, and touch something overrated?

Well, if you either fit the creep or the lazy criteria, I have great news for you! For the very low, low price of $2 499, you can have your head floating on a make-shift Segway all over the world! According to the website, it’s a great way to have a “physical presence in the office [to] speak to co-workers at any time”. Well, except there’s really no physical presence. Also, just invest into a text plan.

Realistically, if your boss was a floating head on a Segway, wouldn’t you just leave any room robot-boss is in? Also, wouldn’t you be tempted to “accidentally” lock Roboboss in the bathroom? I mean, he doesn’t have arms, or even the ability to call for help.

This invention is stupid and creepy and unnecessary. I can only see it helping if you have a disability. But even then, there are still text plans out there. And Skype–remember Skype?

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