Bench Profiles: The Atlanta Hawks’ Jared Cunningham

Bench Profiles: The Atlanta Hawks' Jared Cunningham

As some of us know, NBA teams have 15 players per roster. However, only about 7-10 get to play any given night. That means 8-5 players are on the team for practice purposes only and to get that NBA money–can’t hate on that. Anyway, be prepared to get to know these guys pretty well, one 15th man at a time.

What’s Jared’s basketball story?

Well, why don’t you sit back and let me tell you.

In high school, he obviously played well because high school kids suck compared to NBA prospects so I’ll ignore his meaningless stats. However, he did attain “academic All-America honors”, which I assume is some sort of honour roll thing. So, Father Winston Rye S.J. Award, what up!?

He went to Oregon State University, where he spent three years. In his junior, and final, year he was named to the All-Pac 12 First Team, which I guess could be a big deal and a reason why he went into the draft? I don’t know.

Note: According to Wikipedia, the most notable Oregon State alum is Linus Pauling. Yupp, that’s right. We’ve all heard his name before and now we all know he went to school at Oregon State University. You’re welcome, beautiful people.

As for the NBA, he has already been part of three NBA franchises: drafted 24th overall by the Cleveland Caveliers in 2012, then traded on draft day to the Dallas Mavericks, and then traded to the Atlanta Hawks this past offseason.

So you think he’s just a scrub, eh? WELL ACTUALLY, he is shooting a blistering 100% from the free throw line, making all two of the free throws he has attempted his entire career. Eat that, Jose Calderon! As for the rest of his stats, he holds career averages of 1.8 PPG, 0.3 RPG, and 0.1 APG. These are by far the best averages of any player profiled on this blog thus far.

What does social media tell me about Jared?

Ah, I’m glad you asked. For one thing, he’s  into lazy Waldo Halloween costumes. C’mon Jared, getting a striped shirt and fake glasses doesn’t qualify as trying on Halloween!
Twitter has provided the following insights into his life:

#LWRT

Well, as we all know, LWRT stands for ‘light-weight reinforced thermoplastic‘. What Jared would be doing with it, I have no idea.

Don’t ask me for nothing I cant ask you for.

 This is probably referring to the large quantity of people asking for–but not giving out– light-weight reinforced thermoplastic. I don’t blame his passive aggressiveness. Those people are the worst.

And yeah, that’s pretty much everything you need to know about Jared. Come back next week when I profile the Boston Celtics’ 15th man. WHO WILL IT BE? MAYBE YOU!

Post Script: Here’s a highlight package that makes Jared look like a superstar.

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